Sep 11, 2016

Chemo round 3 - Ups and downs

DAY FIVE - Wow, this round has been tough. I'm lieing in bed and I can't stop thinking about how different this round has been. I'm scared to think about how I'll feel after the next one.

The previous two had side effects and I didn't feel great but this worn has worn me down a lot. It's like my body is sick of being ill, I hate to say it but it feels like I'm getting weaker. I mean you can only fight and withstand so much before your body gets pissed off.

This one has made me so tired it's ridiculous and also my wisdom teeth on the right side which are impacted have been giving me agony the last few days. I had to visit the dentist where the only thing they could do for me was drill off half of the tooth that was digging into my cheek. It had cut into my cheek and was extremely sore and due to chemo destroying all the rapidly dividing cells in my body (ie hair, saliva and all the cells that heal your mouth) the cuts weren't healing and my whole mouth was just a nightmare. Toothache as I'm sure most of you know is one of the most horrible pains you can have, especially when it spreads all down your next and up by your ear. When you're already weak, it's even harder to tolerate.

I know my body is tired and aching and fragile.
But I'm not going to let the chemo get the better of me. Which is why tomorrow I'm going to make a huge effort to do some serious self care. I'm going to write it all down in here to remind myself (another side effect is the onset of chemo brain. I still have baby brain from six years ago so I wasn't in a great position to begin with) and force myself to actually do it!

-DRINK MORE WATER - I definitely haven't been drinking enough

-DRINK A SPINACH AND APPLE SMOOTHIE in the morning with a big breakfast like avocado and eggs on toast

-DO A 5 MINUTE MEDITATION at least twice in the day to regathering and calm thoughts

-TURN PHONE OFF FOR A FEW HOURS to avoid mindlessly scrolling when Meant to be resting


DAY 12 - I wrote the first part of this post on day five, lieing in bed feeling particularly weak and particularly sorry for myself. I feel asleep after writing the last line and have only blogged a couple of times since then (separate posts). I am feeling good again now and even made it to the beach this weekend with the kids. I have found this round extremely difficult. They reduced my steroids and I think that made a huge impact. On day 10, just like clockwork, the delightfully red and painful acne showed up, unwanted as usual. So this time I will be begging them to practically double my steroids as I seem to get the acne no matter what.

It took me about 9 days to feel normal again this time and the whole thing seems like a bit of a blur to be honest. It's only because my friends and family were so brilliant and took such good care of me that I pulled through and finally felt good again.

So going to the beach at the weekend, breathing in that beautiful sea air, getting my feet sandy and running through the salty water was exactly what I needed. We went to Currumbin, on the part of the beach where they have these absolutely amazing rocks that the water crashes against. The kids thought it was absolutely fantastic and were running around and splashing like maniacs. Oscar said 'This is the coolest place ever, we should come here all the time!' and if it wasn't so bloody far, we would. But I will definitely be making the effort more to do fun stuff like that, on the days I'm not feeling like I've been hit by a truck.

Hope you all had a great weekend and don't forget to give your boobs a squeeze!!


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