Mar 26, 2017


Since starting Tamoxifen a month ago I have had a few side effects I wanted to get checked out, I am meeting with my oncologist next week but made an appointment with a GP to see if that would help. I haven't got any experience with this drug so just wanted to see if what was happening was normal.

Basically I have been getting severe stomach cramps, not being able to swallow, my throat feels like it's closed up and feeling anxious...

I told her I wasn't sure if my symptoms were anxiety related or tamoxifen related.

She got chatting, feeling the need to tell me that "breast cancer always returns". She said it was 'only a matter of time' and 'inevitable' I would get it again, she said everybody who has breast cancer always gets it again.
"It may be 5 years, it may be 10 years, but you'll get it again."

Hold the phone...

Did you just tell me, 1 minute after I came to you with ANXIETY that I am 100% going to get cancer again, when I didn't even ask for your humble opinion??

I went on to tell her that I have had all the recommended treatment, from my operation, chemo, radio blah blah blah and she just looked a me with pity and said, "yeah but still, it will happen again".

She then told me that I should have a mastectomy on my right breast.

Which is something that no (proper) doctor would advise or do because I DON'T HAVE A BRCA GENE  MUTATION. The only instance where they would give you a mastectomy without having cancer cells present!!

I left there, crying hysterically and as I got to my car I rang my cancer care nurse who immediately expressed her anger, telling me that what the GP told me was completely untrue and because of all my treatment there is no reason it should return, that breast cancer is actually very curative and there were many treatment options. She said there is a small risk it may come back, but that everybody has that risk of getting cancer and they have treated it so aggressively there was absolutely no reason it could or should come back.

Yes breast cancer can be sneaky, which is why it is treated the way it is but I am still so angry that this GP would say that to me, especially after I told her I was suffering anxiety and didn't want it to get out of control.

I have honestly had the shittiest luck with GP's. From them telling me over and over again I didn't have cancer when I DID have it, to them telling me that it will definitely return and I'll get it again when I'm completely healthy. So bloody frustrating!

Since writing this post I ended up spending the night in ER because my stomach pains got so bad, I'm talking, contractions pain, I felt like I was in labour!  After waiting four hours to see a Dr, amongst the drunkest, loudest, smelliest people Brisbane had to offer that night, they told me it probably wasn't appendicitis but I would have to get an ultrasound to see if the tamoxifen was making my pelvic organs inflamed or if I had ovarian cysts. Which they couldn't offer at 5am on a Friday morning. So I'll be going in on Monday and have been dosed up on painkillers ever since.

On the plus side, my anxiety seems to have died down heaps. I think it was the initial shock and sadness of Lisa passing away two weeks ago that got me to such a low point and I just have to continue to pick myself up and appreciate all the good in life and focus on my kids and my art to get me through.

After doing a massive clearout this week I came across a whole heap of paintings and drawings and thought I would list them all in a flash sale. I would love to see these one offs go to a good home and have listed them all on ETSY individually. I opened an etsy store in 2011 but have never done anything with it. I decided to use ETSY for this sale so that I could give you guys a coupon code to receive a further 20% off.

Check out lots of never before seen or released work before like this .... and use the discount code IHEARTART20



In hair news, I still look like a cross between Buzz from Home Alone and Sonic the Hedgehog :-/

Love, Hayley xo


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