Oct 2, 2017

Things I'd tell my 15 year old self....

This is me, when I was 15. In my natural habitat at the time, dressed in rags bought from Camden market, a few ratty dreadlocks in my hair, eating toast, smoking a rollie and drawing in my sketch book.

Okay so in retrospect this is not a good look, (mainly the patchwork coat!) but I can definitely say I was genuinely happy here. I was sleeping at my friends house and we used to take photos with black and white film on a camera where you couldn’t preview the images or delete a thousand selfies, selfies weren’t even a thing. We’d listen to the Beatles and we’d work on our artwork and stay up late chatting. My biggest dreams then were to fall in love and open an art gallery.

It pains me that I dressed in oversized stripy shirts when I had the best body of my life, it pains me that I used to put six sugars in every cup of tea I drank (so unnecessary, it doesn't get any sweeter after three), it pains me that I smoked so much I needed an inhaler and genuinely didn’t look after my body at all.

I would probably tell 15 year old me not to do those things, seriously there is NO need for six sugars in cup of tea you muppet.

But there's things I wish I could definitely tell her....
To keep being her true self and chasing what makes her happy instead of trying to chase what the world thinks she should do.

I’d tell her it’s all very well being a romantic but that there’s plenty of time for guys. I’d tell her love and passion isn’t about suffering for a guy she wants to impress, I’d tell her to protect her heart because she’s worth so much more than the dick heads that caused her so much pain. Find someone who treats you like a Princess, who loves you for all the things that make you you. Find someone you can have conversations about life with, someone who gives you butterflies but also makes you feel safe.

I’d tell her that her artwork is the thing she was born to do, she already knows that... So I’d tell her not to waste a decade feeling lost and inadequate, to practise art every day, that she can and will make a good living as an artist. I’d tell her to surround herself with people who lift her up and that the friends she has now are the friends that will still be there 15 years later even when they’re halfway across the world, so be kind to them and be grateful for them.

I’d tell her she is good enough to do all those things she thinks she can’t.

I'd say don't run away from your problems and not to hide your true feelings to avoid confrontation.
I’d tell her nothing is more important than being true to yourself and doing what makes you happy.

Just because Kate Moss smokes Marlborough Lights doesn't mean they're 'classy gigarettes'

I'd also tell her to lose the nose ring, it'll cause nothing but infections and it doesn't look as great as you think it does. Of course I'd tell her not to pluck her eyebrows into non existence, but I guess I'd like to tell that to every girl in that decade. Whhhhyyyy did we do this? I seriously think about photo-shopping eyebrows onto my old pictures.

What would you tell your 15 year old self??


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