Apr 23, 2019

How I manifested my soulmate

While I've never needed the approval of a man, I never had a lot of self love or self worth. I didn't sit around crying about the way I looked or hating myself or anything. I just kind of had this weird belief that true happiness, money, romance, love.... they were nice things that were for other people, they weren't for me. I was more of a 'put up with however they treat you, don't argue with anyone, be grateful for whatever you can get' kind of girl.

While it is good to see the positives in a bad situation, it's not good to settle for the bad and not even expect the good.

The print I'm holding above is of the famous Carrie Bradshaw quote 'Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first' and as you may have heard me mention about a billion times, Sex and the City was the only thing that could make me feel calm when I was at my most anxious.

But this quote, it stuck with me. So when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I literally went on a mission to love myself as I knew that my lack of self worth or boundaries, were the root of a lot of my problems and reasons behind a lot of the bad decisions I had made.

I didn't care if it meant being single for the rest of my life, I knew I would never be happy until I was living the most authentic version of myself. The cancer had given me the wake-up call I needed to stop waiting around hoping for happiness, I had to find it within myself.

That meant saying no to things (and people) that made me unhappy, things that brought me stress, that hurt me. It meant saying yes to things I wanted to do, but was scared of, or scared of being judged for. It meant facing all the uncomfortable things, the messy things that were easier to ignore.

I did this in a lot of ways. But it was mainly changing my subconscious thought patterns about myself. (That's what's great about our minds and our subconscious, it will believe whatever you tell it, which is why it's SO important to fill it it with love, instead of exposing yourself to negative people, situations, and talking down to yourself)

Which meant daily meditating, and saying affirmations. I listened to myself, about what I really wanted and I didn't let other people distract me from that. I removed myself from unnecessary stressful situations and I lived in a way where I did hundreds of small things everyday that made me happy.

Little rituals, from reading, painting, eating my favourite foods, listening to my favourite music and podcasts. Being intentional with my time and surrounding myself with people who really cared about me and vice versa.

And then when I finally believed it, when I found peace within myself, when I deeply believed that I deserved unconditional love, just for being myself....that's when I found it. I wasn't even looking for a man, but the universe handed him to me because I was ready to accept the love I actually deserved.

It’s funny how this painting was the thing that finally brought us together. We were best friends when we were 16  but it was so much more than that. It’s funny because I guess I’ve always known, it was just never the right time and it turns out we both had to learn a lot of lessons along the way. Like moving to the other side of the planet 🌍 
In November he rang me and asked me to paint a Seascape for his new house, and asked me to put a silhouette of myself in the painting so he had something to remind him of me. We started FaceTiming for 4 hours at a time every few days and I was worried when the painting was finished, that would be it. But that wasn’t it, it was just the beginning. And now here I am, back in the UK, right back where I started, with the one I’ve always loved

And it wasn't just an old friend  who is quite nice, that has ended up working out quite well. The relationship I have now, is with someone who shows me with every action he makes how much he loves me, from a cup of tea before I've even opened my eyes, to a full neck massage when I have a headache. To the way he speaks about me to his friends and family, and the way he knows exactly what I'm thinking, to the feeling I have not just in my stomach when he's around but the calm he brings to my soul.

Whether you believe in the law of attraction or frequencies, or manifesting or angels or any of the things that I do. I know that you won't be happy with yourself or in a relationship until you LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.

I used my artwork to create a range of affirmations and self love artwork that I displayed all around my house to keep me motivated. That way it was always in the forefront of my mind, subconsciously.

I have just reduced the price of The Carrie Bradshaw print and also the affirmations prints, as I really want as many people to benefit from them as possible. Enter the code JAN20 at the checkout at  www.hayleywalkerart.com to receive 20% off everything!!

Because this is something I feel so passionately about, I wrote an entire book on all the methods I used to cure my anxiety and fall in love with myself and my life again, which is available 

Some of my favourite meditations and podcasts


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