Jan 15, 2014

My Single Mum Survival Tips

I have been a Single Mum for quite some time now, I feel like I am in a really happy, positive place right now and it has taken a lot of challenges and learning curves to get here. I thought I would share some of my tips with you guys!

- Single is better than being in an unhealthy relationship. Whether he left or you left, it is better to be Single than in an unhealthy or toxic relationship. Creating tension and an unhealthy picture of a relationship you don't want your kids picking up on.
- We all have bad days. Whether you are a single mum, a celebrity mum, a mum with a brilliant husband, a mum with millions of dollars and two nannies, we all have bad days where we just don't have much patience, when your kids are fighting over a Buzz Light-year toy and you are wishing you could go back to bed and drink tea and go on Pinterest all day.  Or when the thought of going to the park again fills you with boredom and getting dressed just seems a bit too hard. It doesn't mean you're a bad Mum, it means you're normal and if you give yourself a break and have a rest you'll probably go back to being awesome tomorrow.
- Don't whinge about benefits. Be thankful we live in a country where the Government actually give a fuck. Yeah you're never going to get rich on benefits alone but I know I'm thankful that the Government give me help to raise my kids, to help provide a roof over our heads in one of the greatest countries in the world at a time where you can't work at all or as much as you'd like to. Imagine if you lived in a different country and received no help at-all. Imagine if one day all your benefits stopped completely.
- Be grateful. If you fed your kids good food today, if you put them in clean clothes, if you spent quality time with them and you loved them, then give yourself a big pat on the back. That is all they need and you're doing an awesome job.
-Keep Going. Sometimes the days can blur into each other and you can feel exhausted all week. It's hard work being a Mum. But one day they will do something new and great and something you have taught them and you will be so proud and it will remind you of the big picture and what all the hard work and late nights and whole heap of housework you do is all completely worth it and one day in the future your kids will really respect you and be thankful for everything you've done.
- Make Time for Yourself. Don't stop being you. You need to make time to enjoy things you like doing. Going shopping on your own sometimes so you can actually concentrate on what you're doing there. Have a night out with your girlfriends. Go to the cinema, read a book. Be organised so that when they go to sleep you're not doing housework for three hours before crawling into bed. Don't feel guilty about it, your happiness breeds their happiness and sometimes a little break gives you the mental break to come back restored and patient.
- Don't rush. Remember to smile and take a deep breath. Yeah you have 45 loads of washing to be done and the kids are racing around the kitchen playing chase and you are going to a birthday party in an hour and you've got to get everybody dressed and you look like crap but rushing around generally doesn't get things done any quicker and it raises everybody's stress level. Take a breath, calm down and usually I would suggest a cup of tea for added effect, then do your best and get on with it happily.
- They're not little for long This is an annoying thing to say, I know but it is true. When the kids are little it can feel a bit repetitive and it can feel like such hard work (I used to find myself fantasising about sleep and my kids were good sleepers!) but one day you'll wake up and it will be the first day of school, they will be be able to do things for themselves and little by little each day gets easier.

But to all my Single Mums out there, I get it. It's hard, we are people too and sometimes it's a little bit lonely but like I mentioned at the beginning, I am really happy to be Single than in a bad relationship.
We get to spend lots of times with our kids, we are close to them and will always be there no matter what and they love us and need us so that's just what we do. Give yourself a high five and hug your babies. And probably a biscuit.


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