Nov 16, 2018

Are you a people pleaser?

I am re-doing my art studio and I treated myself to a new desk the other day because my other one was a bit too small and it was always cramped with sketchpads and pens when I was trying to work. This one has a huge glorious drawer to keep things tidy and not have everything on display. In the process of doing my art studio I am creating a space that I absolutely adore because I spend half my life in there. It needs to be light and bright but of course needs art on the wall.
I got 'Limitless' reprinted to go on the new gallery wall. I love the watercolor style of it but it also has a significant meaning for me and I wanted to share it with you in case there's someone who needs to hear this message today. I spoke to two of my friends in depth about it recently and was inspired to write this because so many of us do it.
As you probably know I have become very spiritual, self aware and obsessed with personal development. Being faced with your own mortality, will do that to you. One of the things I learned about myself was that I was anxious because I was a PEOPLE PLEASER and you know what, about 80% of everyone I know is too.
How to know if you're a people pleaser..
You say yes to things you don't want to do all the time. You go places you don't want to because you don't want to be seen as difficult or let anyone down.
You avoid confrontation
You're scared they'll be mad with you if you don't go along with their plans
You hide the REAL you for fear of judgement or offending anyone.
You feel guilty all the time
You often feel used
You have stayed in relationships even though you know it's abusive or not right for you
You have excessive stress. 
You play small
You feel like a bad mum, bad friend, bad partner....

If this sounds like you, I urge you to check in with yourself, give yourself a hug (ok that might be tricky) run yourself a bath, and repeat after me I MATTER TOO
We are all responsible for our own happiness. Our parents aren't, our kids aren't, our spouses aren't. In turn that means YOU are not responsible for THEIR happiness.
Ask yourself, what do I really want? If there were NO limits, if you didn't worry what Sally down the road would think about it, if you weren't worried about pissing your partner off, if you weren't worried about strangers on the internet judging you on social media, if you could do anything you wanted? 
Then ask yourself why you're not doing it?
People say all the time 'I can't do that because...' insert any excuse.
But let me tell you this...The reason you have those dreams and desires...Is because that's whats MEANT for you. The Universe isn't a cruel bitch that puts these dreams into your soul to make you sad and uncomfortable. They're there because you are meant to be doing it. Sure there may be obstacles in the way, but as soon as you get yourself on the right path, it's amazing how the universe helps you get there when you start trying.

Remember, you have those thoughts and desires because they are part of your purpose. The people that love you unconditionally, will love you no matter what.

Before I got cancer I worked easily 14 hours a day, in my 'real job' then coming home and fitting in dinner times, parenting, giving my partner attention and then painting int the night because I couldn't let go of my desire to be an artist, but I thought it was selfish of me to try and pursue it. It wasn't fair on my partner, it might not work, I didn't want to disappoint anyone blah blah blah. Even though I'd wanted to be an artist since I was 5 years old. 
It took me getting cancer to think 'hang on a minute, THIS is what I want, what am I not doing it? Why am I running myself into the ground for fear of annoying anyone or failing.
Fast forward three years and I know in my heart I'm on the right path and the best is yet to come. I feel fulfilled and my art as well as my career has been able to flourish.

I don't want anybody else to have to go through something like that before they start listening to what's in their heart.

USE THE CODE JAN20 to receive 20% off all artwork


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